A Welcome Back to Myself

This blog has been very neglected recently. In fact, i haven't written anything this year at all. It's safe to say I have been lacking in motivation in all aspects of my life if I'm honest... It might be that the dark, cold winter mornings and nights have left me with no energy, or I'm just in a bit of a funk. However, something I saw last week has had my mind-a-racing and I think it may have given me back some much needed mojo! "He Named Me Malala" is the film biography of Malala Yousafzai- terror attack survivor, defender of women globally, the youngest receiver of the Nobel Peace Prize, oh and my absoloute herione! Get to know more here: https://www.malala.org/malalas-story

The film took me out of my own life for a while and got me thinking of bigger things. Her bravery and kindness has left such good in the world, and so I am inspired. In this year of change for me, I have decided to be brave. Whether I am sure of what I am doing or not (I'm not) I will grab it with both hands and kick it's ass!

I would like to thank Malala for being a constant inspiration and motivation, and a light in a sometimes dull world.
a.g.f

The power of 'what if?'

'What if' is usually the start of panic and worry, the start of self doubt and how you talk yourself out of everything and anything! 

But what if not?

Whilst we spend our lives worrying about how things will turn out and if we've done the right thing, our lives are still unfolding and more often than not our fears don't come true. However by then we've missed the experience; it passed us in our state of worry. So if we say 'what if this goes wrong?' and it does then I guess we're prepared for it, but if it doesn't then the thoughts and anxiety were a waste of time and energy!


When I first started this blog the usual doubt came with it, what if people don't read it? What if people DO read it? What if my writing is terrible? I kept it a complete secret from everyone I knew and the only person who had read it was a stranger from South America (shout out to whoever you are!) Anyway when my Instagram account accidentally linked to my facebook and people I knew found out... cue absolute meltdown!! Instead of my worst fears though, I had lovely feedback and was thankful for this accidental push I needed. A couple months of secrecy and an hour of sheer panic was so unnecessary and I should have just enjoyed the experience of writing without what ifs. 

Just let things happen and deal with them if they go wrong or change course, it's fine not to have everything figured out. So when you find yourself asking what if, also ask what if not? It takes away the power of 'what if'.

Social Media

As YouTube and Instagram grow, so does people's aspirations and ambitions.

In my father's youth he saw nothing that wasn't right in front of him, he didn't see the lives of those constantly in the sun or in faraway places (yogi's I'm looking at you!). It sounds cliché but he lived in the moment as a child should- not constantly wondering about where he might be in the future.

My adolescence however, consisted of watching YouTube and posting to social media sites in which you see the handful of people who made social media there job. It seems the perfect career! You get paid to live your life and document it which leads you being able to do better stuff that more people are interested in.

For a while I would watch and be envious of these people and there lives, until one day I realised I'd wasted the whole day just refreshing social media... when I put it so plainly like this I am embarrassed!! But I finally saw that I was watching other people live their lives instead of living mine; I watched people do things instead of doing those things? That doesn't make sense now but I think it came from self doubt and fear and a dashing of laziness. I didn't believe that I'd ever be able to do these things but I have come to realise even if I can't, I can enjoy the things accessible to me now, to find satisfaction in my 'now'. I could be envious of these people but I am me and there is no escaping that so I need to embrace me. The people we see on social media only show us what we want to see, not the days where they don't get out of their pyjamas or when they aren't too keen on being themselves, so we shouldn't be so hard on ourselves.

What I think I'm trying to say is that social media- as great as it is for many things- has given my generation an impossible task... to be ok with what we have. We see better all of the time so we constantly want better. It has it's perks, I mean why should we settle for average? I don't want to either BUT can we ever get to a place where we are truly happy with our situation when there will always be someone behind a screen who seems to have it better?

What am I proposing?

I am going to take some of the time I use on social media and use it to live my life, maybe try something new and expand my knowledge or even just take some 'me' time and try to love my present.

Social media opened us up to the whole world, gives us unlimited knowledge and a chance to be heard. But it takes us away from the world, away from knowledge in books and our elders and away from ourselves.